Phoenix, Bettman, both suck.

The Phoenix Coyotes are an embarrassment to professional hockey. Worse, the commissioner of the NHL is an embarrassment to professional sports, business, and even general logic.

http://tsn.ca/nhl/story/?id=295015

This story outlines the fact that hockey has unequivocally failed in the desert. Here are some quick stats for those uninterested in reading the article: All tickets for the home opener were $25 (the only reason it sold well), the second game drew only 6,899 fans, there will be a promotion where if the team wins certain games, then free tickets are given away.

This reeks of failure and desperation, and that is an ugly scent for Gary Bettman to wear. Time to send the Coyotes back to Winnipeg, or Quebec City, or even Hamilton.

If the Coyotes have to give away tickets to attract fans, then they are clearly not a viable business. If the crazy French teams in the LNAH (http://www.lnah.com/) are making more money than you, that’s how you know you’re failing as an NHL team.

It’s obviously embarrassing for Bettman to admit that his pet projects in the southern US are failing, but for the sake of the sport he needs to admit he was wrong to over expand the league into places where nobody cares about hockey, and put teams back in places that will care.

The joke’s over. Time to go watch Bon Cop Bad Cop and dream of what may become of Bettman one day.

Douchebag

The Battle Of Alberta Rages On…

I don’t even know where to start with this.

Last night, in a game between the Flames and Oilers, Jerome Iginla ended up taking Sheldon Souray out with a sketchy looking hit. Dirty Hit on Sheldon Souray by Jerome Iginla

Oilers coach Pat Quinn was none too happy with the hit and made his feeling known after the game. Today, the NHL fined him $10,000 for his comments.

Okay.

I like Pat Quinn, but I think he’s starting to sound a bit like Don Cherry in his old age. After the game, Quinn basically called the hit dirty and said if this were the 60’s, Iginla would have had his head caved with a stick… maybe not the best idea.

Granted, the hit didn’t look all that good, but I think if there’s one thing to be said about the ordeal, it’s that Jerome Iginla is one of the classiest players in the game, and if he says it was an accident (which he did), I’m inclined to believe him.

Although in a related note, Quinn really didn’t say anything that bad. He basically just gave his opinion, however senile it may have been. So for the NHL to fine him $10 grand is pretty God damn outrageous. After all, the government doesn’t fine Don Cherry every time he makes fun of a French Canadian on CBC.

So really, there’s just two losers here. Sheldon Souray, because he was unlucky and got hurt, and Gary Bettman and his cronies who dropped the ball again with another retarded decision.

Odds and Ends

Captainless Leafs

Recently, Leafs GM and all around media whore, Brian Burke gave The Star some insight into what it takes to be a Maple Leafs captain. He said, “First off, a captain’s personal life off the ice and his play on the ice must be beyond reproach.”

Lets see how the leading candidates stack up against that quote so far:

Mike Komisarek – Looks like a “Peewee Defencemen” according to Ron Wilson, has 17 PIM through the first few games. Off the ice? Nothing really. It’s a bit too early in his Toronto stay to have beaten up a hooker, so no problems there.

Francois Beauchemin – 2 points, and a -4. Off the ice? Probably just your standard beer drinking Frenchman.

Tomas Kaberle – 3 points, and -1. Off the ice? He’s so low key that he could be mistaken for an Amish person. But sometimes its guys like this who wind up being involved in a child porn ring, so who knows?

Weak choices so far. Maybe they go with… Matt Stajan?
He has 3 goals, and -1. Off the ice? He’s the team’s union rep, called out the fans for being too quiet, has a comparable tenure to Kaberle.

It’s too early in the season to name one mediocre player better than the other ones though, so I think we should just tell The Star to give it a rest for now.

Jonathon Roy, Superstar!

Patrick Roy’s son pled guilty to an on ice assault which took place in a game in 2008. Here’s the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s92LY161Gww&feature=fvw

Apparently he wanted a specific plea bargain that would still allow him to enter the U.S. – why? To pursue his next career as a singer?

What a pussy.

Fabio Cannavaro’s Bee-S

Cannavaro, who captained team Italy to a World Cup a few years back, has claimed that the reason he tested positive for banned substances was because he was receiving treatments for a bee sting.

However, the former physician for Juventus has been convicted of administering banned substances to players, and Cannavaro was caught on video injecting a substance in 2005.

In Italy, is it standard practice to treat common bee stings with a shot of steroids??? If so, how are so many bees finding their way into Italian locker rooms???

Ah whatever… it’s Italy. Who even cares.

Miguel Cabrera’s Wild Night

Miguel Cabrera was juiced the other night.

No, not the Jose Canseco kind of juiced, although that could be entirely possible… Instead, Cabrera was just plain old drunk.

According to tsn.ca (http://tsn.ca/mlb/story/?id=294006), the Tigers overpaid slugger was flat-out hammered the other night – right in the middle of a pennant race. Nice work, retard.

Given that this is baseball, I guess nobody should be surprised. After all, David Wells claimed to have pitched his perfect game when he was “half-drunk”.

But, what’s so embarrassing about this incident though, is that fact that Cabrera clearly has no idea that he has a drinking problem.

During BP, Cabrera addressed the media to talk about the fact that he was hammered the night before one of the biggest games of the year. Here’s what he had to say after going 0-4, with 1K and leaving 6 runners on base.

“No, no, no. I was good. I was focused.”

Really? That’s funny, because the night before, you had a 0.26 Blood Alcohol Content when you drove home, got into a domestic disturbance with your wife, and then got bailed out of jail by your team’s General Manager.

Yeah, no problems here. Just Cabrera playing some good, focused, effective baseball.

What will he do for an encore during the sudden death, elimination game tonight? Beat up Jim Leyland with a bat? Do cocaine off Gerald Laird’s jockstrap? Sexually assault Brandon Inge?

Only time will tell…

Just drinkin' some beers and talkin' some sports